Saturday, April 4, 2015

Hard Timez

So, the last few months have been physically and emotionally difficult for me, and for my family.

Since January, I've had an increasingly painful period (with a few days here and there where I thought it was gone, and that I was all better - but my problems soon returned). In addition, other strange symptoms seem to keep surfacing (including migraines, severe nausea, difficulty urinating, etc.), but as of yet, no cause for my problems has been found.

On top of these new problems, all of my regular medical issues are currently flaring - and not by coincidence. With my other conditions, I'm usually only able to leave the house a few times in a month - depending on the month - otherwise my regular symptoms become increasingly severe. While the (very lovely) blood nurse could come to my house, I had to go out for all of the other tests and exams. It was exhausting, and stirred up my Ehlers-Danlos, ME/CFS, and other conditions that rely on careful management to keep them under control.

In addition to this, mental stress usually makes the symptoms of my other conditions worse - so it's no real surprise that I've been stuck in bed so often during the last few months (although, I feel a million times more relaxed now that they are talking about endometriosis rather than tumours and growths!)

Anyway, with all of my regular symptoms stirred up majorly - and the new symptoms piled on top - I have been feeling more than a little bit miserable. I feel guilty for being asleep so much of the day, and for falling behind with study, work and social stuff. I feel bad for not being around for my friends and family. I feel insincere saying that I will catch up when I am feeling up to it - but never being able to say *when* that will be.

It's hard.

I've been referred to a specialist, but the earliest appointment that I could get with her was in May. (I'm on the 'call if someone cancels an appointment' list - so if someone cancels, I might be able to get in earlier... *crosses fingers!*) It seems like a long wait - and it's just for an initial appointment. I'm guessing that after the visit, there will be more tests for me to go to... Hopefully sometime down the track, they will find out what is causing my problems and will be able to fix me!

~Adrielle =)